Verses¶
Question¶
What does the Bible say about honoring parents? Trace the 5th commandment from its origin through the OT, wisdom literature, prophets, Gospels, and epistles.
A. Core Commandment Texts¶
Exodus 20:12 (The Fifth Commandment)¶
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Context (Exodus 20:1-17 — The Decalogue):
20:1 And God spake all these words, saying, 20:2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. [Commandments 1-4: 20:3-11] 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 20:13 Thou shalt not kill. [Commandments 6-10: 20:13-17]
Deuteronomy 5:16 (Restatement with additional promise)¶
Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Context (Deuteronomy 5:1-22):
5:1 And Moses called all Israel, and said unto them, Hear, O Israel... 5:6 I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. [Commandments 1-4: 5:7-15] 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 5:17 Thou shalt not kill. [Commandments 6-10: 5:17-21] 5:22 These words the LORD spake unto all your assembly in the mount out of the midst of the fire...and he added no more. And he wrote them in two tables of stone, and delivered them unto me.
Differences from Exodus 20:12: 1. Adds "as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee" (ka'asher tsivvekha YHWH) 2. Adds second purpose clause: "and that it may go well with thee" (ulema'an yitav lakh)
Leviticus 19:3 (Fear parents + Sabbath)¶
Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.
Context (Leviticus 19:1-4 — Holiness code):
19:1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 19:2 Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy. 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God. 19:4 Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.
Key differences from Exodus 20:12: 1. Uses "fear" (yare, H3372) instead of "honour" (kabed, H3513) 2. Mother listed FIRST, then father (reversed order) 3. Paired directly with Sabbath observance 4. Introduced under holiness framework: "Be holy, for I the LORD your God am holy"
B. Penalty Provisions for Dishonoring Parents¶
Exodus 21:15,17 (Death penalty for striking/cursing parents)¶
21:15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
Leviticus 20:9 (Cursing parents — blood guilt)¶
For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (Stubborn and rebellious son)¶
21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. 21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Deuteronomy 27:16 (Curse for disrespect)¶
Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.
C. Wisdom Literature (Proverbs)¶
Proverbs 1:8-9 (Parental instruction as adornment)¶
1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 1:9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
Proverbs 3:1-4 (Heart-keeping leads to favor)¶
3:1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: 3:2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee. 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: 3:4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Proverbs 4:1-4 (Multigenerational instruction)¶
4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. 4:2 For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. 4:3 For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. 4:4 He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.
Proverbs 6:20-23 (Father's commandment, mother's law)¶
6:20 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 6:21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. 6:22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life:
Proverbs 10:1 (Joy and grief)¶
A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
Proverbs 13:1 (Hearing instruction)¶
A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
Proverbs 15:5,20 (Prudence vs. folly)¶
15:5 A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent. 15:20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
Proverbs 19:26 (Shameful son)¶
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
Proverbs 20:20 (Cursing parents)¶
Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.
Proverbs 23:22-26 (Hearken and rejoice)¶
23:22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old. 23:23 Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. 23:24 The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. 23:25 Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.
Proverbs 27:11 (Making a father glad)¶
My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me.
Proverbs 28:7,24 (Law-keeping vs. robbery)¶
28:7 Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father. 28:24 Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.
Proverbs 29:15 (Discipline)¶
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 30:11,17 (A cursing generation / mocking eyes)¶
30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. 30:17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.
D. Prophets¶
Malachi 1:6 (God as Father — where is My honor?)¶
A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear? saith the LORD of hosts unto you, O priests, that despise my name. And ye say, Wherein have we despised thy name?
Context (Malachi 1:1-7):
1:1 The burden of the word of the LORD to Israel by Malachi. 1:2 I have loved you, saith the LORD... 1:6 A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? 1:7 Ye offer polluted bread upon mine altar...
Isaiah 45:10 (Woe to those questioning their maker)¶
Woe unto him that saith unto his father, What begettest thou? or to the woman, What hast thou brought forth?
E. Jesus's Defense Against Corban Tradition¶
Matthew 15:1-9 (Commandment of God vs. tradition of men)¶
15:1 Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying, 15:2 Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread. 15:3 But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition? 15:4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death. 15:5 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; 15:6 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition. 15:7 Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, 15:8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. 15:9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
Mark 7:1-13 (Parallel — Corban)¶
7:5 Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands? 7:6 He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites... 7:8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men... 7:9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. 7:10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: 7:11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. 7:12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; 7:13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.
F. Jesus's Priority Statements (God over Family)¶
Matthew 10:34-39¶
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Luke 14:25-27¶
14:25 And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. 14:27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
G. Jesus's Own Example¶
Luke 2:40-52 (Submission to parents)¶
2:40 And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him. 2:41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover. 2:42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. 2:43 And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. 2:46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. 2:47 And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. 2:48 And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. 2:49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? 2:50 And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. 2:51 And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
John 19:25-27 (Care for Mary from the cross)¶
19:25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! 19:27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
H. NT Commands to Children (Epistles)¶
Ephesians 6:1-4 (Obey and honor — the first commandment with promise)¶
6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 6:3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Colossians 3:20-21 (Obey in all things — well pleasing)¶
3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
I. Other NT Passages¶
1 Timothy 5:1-8 (Honoring parents/elders — practical provision)¶
5:1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 5:2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 5:4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Romans 1:28-32 (Disobedience to parents in vice list)¶
1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind... 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 1:30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 1:31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death...
2 Timothy 3:1-5 (Last days — disobedient to parents)¶
3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 3:4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
J. Jesus Quoting the 5th Commandment to the Rich Young Ruler¶
Matthew 19:19¶
Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Mark 10:19¶
Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
Luke 18:20¶
Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.